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First bit of writing!

Okay, so I've been reading a bunch of Lord of the Rings fanfic and realized that the theme of "Modern Girl Falls into Middle-earth" is a quite common one, and one that easily can fall into the Mary Sue category. I was thinking, what if the girl that fell into ME knew she was in the middle of a badfic? What would she do to prevent it, even when her best efforts fail and everyone around her loves her instantly, she becomes friends with all the female cast, has special powers she previously knew nothing of, and a main canon character decides to be her Wun Twue Wove?. This isn't meant to be a serious thing, and it is a work in progress, whenever I get enough time to fiddle around with it. Here's what I got so far. It's not beta'ed and definitely not for Tolkien purists. *looks away guiltily* I really need to re-read Tolkien. Kind of a mix between the books (mainly) and the movies (just a tad)


Beth stared at her computer. She really should be doing her English essay instead of reading fanfic, but she couldn’t help herself. She had just started getting into the Lord of the Rings fandom after the second movie, and couldn’t stop reading anything other people put out; good, bad or otherwise. Her favorites were the “Mary Sue” stories, just because they amused her so much.

In fact, she was in the process of reading one now. It wasn’t bad, as Sues go, plus it was funny. Looking down at the clock displayed on her screen, Beth groaned. It was three in the morning and she had college classes to go to at nine. She rubbed her face, listening to her roommate snore in her sleep just a few feet away. Everything was quiet in the dorm except for the hum of the computer, an occasional snore, and the muted music coming out of her roommate’s headphones. Stretching in her chair, she saved and closed the commentary she had been trying to type for her research paper on the Yellow Wallpaper and moved her mouse to disconnect from the Internet. Before she could do it, she snickered at a paragraph she hadn’t gotten to read yet.

“Oh, just one more chapter, then I’ll call it a night,” she said. Before she knew it, she had already read several more chapters and had started in on another story. It was five in the morning when her eyelids drooped and she fell asleep, her face hitting her keyboard.

Beth woke up feeling stiff and sore. Her mouth was dry and her hands were numb. Great, I fell asleep at the computer again, she thought, remembering the last time she did that. No more fanfic for you. That’s when she noticed several things wrong. One, she was standing up in a dimly lit cave with sticky spider web stuff attached to her wrists and ankles and two, there were several large cocoons next to her that were struggling about in earnest while yelling in some language she didn’t understand.

“Okay, this is just one of those weird dreams, wake up dearie,” she said to herself as she panicked. She could hear a scuttling noise above her, then a large dark object came down from the ceiling. It took a while for Beth’s brain to process just what was before her, but when it did, she could not believe her eyes. A giant spider was coming towards one of the cocoons and whatever was inside started giving out a high pitched scream. Beth bit back a scream at seeing the thing, her fear of spiders making her skin crawl. Her eyes widened as the struggling mass of spider web stopped struggling and the screaming halted. The other cocoons started yelling and moving around even more.

Suddenly there was a yell from the entrance to the cave and something whistled through the air. The spider made a weird noise and bucked up on its back four legs as more things whistled towards it. Beth squinted her eyes and saw that the spider had several arrows stuck in it. Great, she thought, Of all the weird dreams I had to give myself, I’m stuck in a sci-fi flick. That’s it. No more pizza before bedtime. The thing that bothered her though was that in all her dreams, this one was the most lifelike one. Normally she couldn’t feel anything around her, but this one had her actually feeling the strong, sticky web that was slung over her wrists.

She watched as several people dressed in old fashioned green tunics rushed into the cave, fanning out so that there were some cutting the cocoons loose and the rest shooting arrows at the spider. Whoever they were, they all had oddly pointed ears and blond hair. One of them came towards her and cut the webs at her ankles. He said something to her that she didn’t understand, then he cut the webs at her wrists. Without anything holding her up, Beth slumped to the ground, only to be picked up by the man. He ran out of the cave, shouting orders to the other people. They all broke into a run as they heard more scuttling coming from the depths of the cave. After a while, they came to a halt in a glade. Beth’s eyes were still adjusting to the sudden brightness, but she made out that they were in some sort of forest. The man that was holding her set her to her feet, yet held onto her as she wobbled about. He was taller than she was, his hair falling over his shoulders and his dark blue eyes staring at her. He tilted her chin up with his hand and murmured something in whatever language they were speaking in.

“Hey, thanks for saving me and everything, but I can’t understand a word you’re saying.” The man’s brow furrowed and he nodded.

“What is a woman doing in Mirkwood then, if she is alone and cannot speak our tongue?” he asked, finally speaking in English.

That’s when it hit Beth. “Mirkwood?” Definitely no more fanfic and pizza before bedtime.

“Yes. You are fortunate that we came to rescue our comrades. You would have made a fine meal for those spiders.” He picked out a piece of spider web from her hair. “My name is Legolas, and yours?”

Beth stared at him for a long while, then busted out laughing. Legolas and his companions stared at her as if they didn’t know what to make of her.

“I don’t see anything amusing with my question.”

When she could finally catch her breath, she shook her head. “Oh this is fun. Who paid you guys to dress up like this?” Beth turned on her heel and looked towards the trees. “Meg! I know this is one of your silly psychology things! Come on out, I‘m on to you!”

The elves stared at Beth as if she had grown another head. “I will tell you again, there is no one here except for us,” Legolas said. “The spider venom must have addled your wits.”

“Oooh, they’re so going to get it when I find them,” Beth mumbled, rubbing her arm. “Meg and my roommate must have gotten together for this prank. Gwen’s a theater major you know. Well you must know, she obviously paid you to dress up in tights and glue pointy stuff to your ears. How do they stick on anyway?” She reached up and touched Legolas’ ear, tugging slightly.

He pulled back quickly, a confused look on his face. “That pained me, you know. These are my own ears, and I do not know anything of what you speak.” Beth arched her eyebrow and stared at him. Looking around some more, she frowned.

“Okay, this is really weird. I’ve been in the woods near the campus and they don’t have birch trees anywhere. Where am I?”

“I have told you. You are in the forest of Mirkwood. I am Legolas, and my companions need medical aid. If you are finished with your dallying, we shall head towards my father’s halls where you will explain further the reason you are alone here.” Before Beth could say anything else, Legolas reached inside his tunic and produced a dark green piece of fabric. He blindfolded her and took her hand.

“What the hell…”

“We keep our home a secret to those we do not know. Do not fear, I will not let you fall.” They walked for some time, Beth only stumbling once. While on their hike, she stayed quiet, trying to process everything that had happened to her ever since falling asleep at the computer. She thought back to the really icky spider in the cave, remembering that it had bled some sort of greenish black goo. If it had been a mechanical thing, it would have had to have some sort of complicated system inside it to bleed all over the place. As good as Gwen was with the drama thing, she was no mechanical genius. Another thing that bugged Beth was that Meg and Gwen would never go as far as to drug their friends just to place them in a situation like this. Sure they would do something while anybody was sleeping, but to slip some sort of tranquilizers into a drink and drag them off to an unknown forest just for observation was unheard of.

They stopped walking, the hand on Beth’s arm keeping her from stumbling to a halt. While she was blindfolded, she tried her best to make out the place she was in. She could hear water running somewhere in the distance and the fallen leaves had stopped crunching underfoot. There was a loud grating noise that made her jump a bit, then Legolas moved her forward. She could hear the sounds of many people talking; some close nearby and others off into the distance. There were drafts coming from someplace high up which made goose bumps form on her arms.

Then Legolas made her stop. “Father, we found this woman in our forest. She is alone and has been attacked by the spiders.” Without ceremony, he untied the material around Beth’s eyes. She stood there blinking owlishly for a while before taking in what was in front of her. The hall they were standing in looked as if it had been carved out of a mountain. There were plenty of ornate carvings that signified archways and columns, but the rest was rough hewn rock. Light spilled out from the western side of the room and numerous pitch torches illuminated the rest. Centralized on a stone carved dais was an elaborately carved throne. Sitting in it was an older version of Legolas. His gold hair was paler, offsetting a crown of red berries and golden red leaves. His clothes were more regal than that of his son’s, his robes flowing down to his feet. Okay, if we go with this Mirkwood thing, this should be King Thranduil, Beth thought. This whole thing is too weird for words.

“And what of our own?” he asked.

“Alive and being treated. Only one was killed.” They lapsed into their own speech for a while before Thranduil addressed Beth.

“And what was a lone woman doing in our woods to begin with?” he asked. “Are you a spy?”

Beth swallowed hard. “No, I’m a college student. The last thing I can remember doing is falling asleep on my keyboard in my dorm room. I don’t even know how I got here.”

Thranduil frowned. “Your words are strange to my ears, girl. I do not understand the meaning of them at all. If you are not a spy, then you must be some foreigner. Your garb is peculiar.”

Beth looked down at what she was wearing. Her t-shirt still had pieces of spider web stuck to it, as did her shorts. Her flip-flops were caked with mud. Just thank goodness I’m still wearing a bra! She had long since abandoned the idea that her friends were playing a trick on her. Never, even in their best form, could they pull off something like this.

“I don’t know what to tell you. I have no idea how I got here.” She looked to Legolas for some sort of hint on how to act, but he was still and silent beside her.

Thranduil gestured to two elves nearby. “Take her away and keep her safe until she decides to tell us the truth.” The elves advanced on her and none too gently took her by the arms.

“Hey! I am telling you the truth!” She winced as one of the guards grabbed her arm. “That hurt, you jerk!”

The guards led her down spiraling tunnels until they reached a series of wooden doors. Opening one, they shoved her inside and locked the door behind them. Beth banged on it for a while, but then decided it was useless. Plopping down on the floor, she took stock of the room. There was no window and the only light came through the tiny slats at the very top of the door and the small gap right under it. There was a pallet of straw at one corner of the small cell and a basin of water at the other. Wrapping her arms around her knees, Beth leaned her head against the cool stone wall. Her arm hurt like crazy, and when she pulled the sleeve of her shirt up she saw that there were two puncture wounds there that were starting to swell and turn an angry red color. Her head throbbed and she was starting to feel dizzy.

She must have fallen asleep again because she jumped at the sight of her cell door opening and Legolas coming inside. She sluggishly tried to press herself against the wall, but he held out his hand and whispered something to her in Elvish.

“Do not move. I’ve only come here to clean your wounds.” He knelt beside her and pulled up her sleeve, frowning when he saw the spider bite. “We should have tended to this sooner, I am sorry.”

Beth glanced up at him as he dipped a cloth in the basin of water and dabbed it against her arm. “Why are you doing this?” she asked. “If that guy in the hall is your dad, then you must be a prince. Shouldn’t somebody lower on the totem pole deal with your prisoners?”

“You puzzle me. I like to deal with things that intrigue me personally.” He bent his head and concentrated on applying some sort of salve to the bite. “I know you did not lie to my father.”

“Then why are you keeping me here? I haven’t done anything wrong.”

Legolas sighed. “We have to keep you here because we cannot keep you above ground. The shadow that grows over our woods has been lengthening, the spiders are not the only things that have gotten braver these past years. If you are not from this land like you say, then this is the safest place for you at the moment.” He finished wrapping her upper arm in linen and smiled at her. “This should ease your discomfort, and the salve will draw out whatever venom that is still inside.”

Beth drew her arm back, noting that he let his fingers linger on her hand before moving away. “Thank you.” She watched as he knocked on the door and said something to the guard outside. Soon the door opened and a trencher of food and two goblets of wine were brought in.

“So, where do you hail from then?” he asked, offering the food to Beth.

She nibbled on the soft white bread before shrugging her shoulders. “Seattle, Washington. I’m an environmental science major at a local college.”

“Amazing. You are a student? Many human kingdoms do not allow their women to learn to read.”

“Well yeah, and they’re still in the dark ages.” She paused. “Just what day is it anyway?”

Legolas reached for one of the goblets. After taking a sip, he answered. “It is Narbeleth, or October, if you like. I believe it is the nineteenth of the month today.”

“And you say that we’re in Middle-earth, correct?”

“Arda, yes.”

Beth leaned her head against the wall again. “Well crap. Great, my luck I’m going to get killed by a bunch of orcs now. Tell me, did you guys let Gollum run off yet?”

Legolas was taken aback. “How do you know of him?” He eyed her suspiciously.

“Well, duh. You’re going to go to Rivendell pretty soon to join a super secret council and tell them that you guys over here dropped the ball and let him loose.” She stopped talking. “Wait a minute. None of this has happened yet, has it?”

“No it has not. Are you some sort of witch that can predict the future? How else did you know that I am setting out soon?”

Beth clamped her hand over her mouth. “You’re going to think I’m crazy.”

“Try me anyway.”

Looking sheepishly at him, she bit her lip. “Well, in my time, there’s these books all about you and this world. They’ve been around for about fifty or so years now and this man has even started making a movie based on these books.”

“I do not know what a movie is, but you are saying that you are from the future and the deeds that will happen have already been recorded?”

Beth nodded. “Well, sort of. For the sake of argument, let’s just say yes. I don’t wanna go into the whole Tolkien thing right now.”

Legolas leaned back on his haunches and stared at her for a while. Thoughtfully swirling his wine in his cup, he nodded. “Then you must accompany me to Rivendell. If what you say is true, then Lord Elrond would be the best person to seek counsel from. Mayhap he will know a way to get you back to your own home.”

“Do you really think so?” Beth asked, biting her bottom lip.

“He is most wise. Certainly he would know something.”

“I don’t know, wouldn’t it be best if I just stayed where I am now? I mean, I don’t have any idea just how long I’m here for, and wandering all over Middle-earth just doesn’t sound like such a good idea.”

Legolas tilted his head. “True, yet it would be folly not to seek Lord Elrond’s council. I am leaving on the morrow, and it is merely a five day journey on horseback from our halls to Imladris.”

“And what if he can’t tell us anything?” What if I’m stuck here for good?

As if he caught onto her unspoken worry, Legolas reached out and touched her hand. “Then you will return with me and live here under my people’s protection. In much nicer accommodations, though,” he added with a wink. “Yet there is still something that you have not told me.”

“What?”

“Your name. We cannot keep on calling you ‘the woman we rescued from the spiders’, now can we?”

Beth gave a small laugh. “That would be kind of long, don’t you think? My name’s Beth Green.”

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