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Jan. 29th, 2009

First tiptoe into the Persona 3 fandom. Set after the mission on Shirakawa Boulevard.

Title: Uncertainty
Rating: R
Words: 2,816
Pairing: Mitsuru/Akihiko

Even though it was the middle of summer, the hot water from the shower did wonders to Mitsuru’s aching shoulders. She’d taken a few hits during last night’s mission that had given her bruises, but nothing that her clothes wouldn’t cover.

Turning the taps off, she grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her body. She really should feel better about the mission; they’d managed to beat two shadows instead of only one, and except for everyone complaining about being tired afterward and a couple of scrapes here and there, no one had been seriously hurt.

She ran a comb through her wet hair. Then why was it that she was so…distracted? With a resigned sigh, she set her comb back on her vanity and stared at her reflection in the mirror, her eyes drawn to the dark mark near her collarbone. The bruise hadn’t been caused by a shadow, but by one of her own teammates, or if she wanted to get specific, Akihiko. After defeating the shadow of the Hierophant Arcana, the room had spun out of control and she had gotten dizzy. She could vaguely remember reaching for Akihiko’s arm as she lost her balance, and then her vision had blurred until she blacked out.

The next thing she could remember was staring up at her own reflection in another hotel room. She’d given the room’s lurid décor a brief glance; the walls had been a muted red that had bled through the Dark Hour’s stain and the velvet and silk bedding was tacky enough on its own without adding the mirrored ceiling into the mix. The only thing missing was a waterbed mattress and a heart shaped bathtub in the adjoining room.

Not that she had firsthand knowledge of such things or if they were even standard in hotels such as the one on Shirakawa Boulevard, but she had heard plenty of rumors.

It wasn’t until she tried to get out of the bed that she had realized that she wasn’t alone. She’d let out a gasp when she felt something touch her hip, her hand automatically going to her Evoker. Her fingers stilled at the holster when she realized that instead of some shadow prepared to attack, the hand on her hip belonged to Akihiko.

And that was when the room had gone fuzzy around the edges again. She had shaken her head as if it would help clear her vision, but all it did was push her hair into her face. There’s nothing to be afraid of, a voice had crooned in her ear. The two of you are alone.

“I’m not afraid,” she had said out loud. Briefly, she wondered where Akihiko’s shirt had gone to, but that thought had been drowned out by the realization that underneath his clothing, Akihiko had been hiding well defined muscles that her fingers had itched to touch. Of course, she should have known that, seeing that he was the captain of the boxing team and the fact that he spent the majority of his free time either working out in his room or training outside the dorm. While she tried to rationalize her sudden interest in his body, Akihiko’s hand slid from her hip to her waist, his fingers slightly bunching up the fabric of her skirt. She really should have batted his hand away, but she had been caught like a deer in the headlights, her breath catching at the look on his face as he stared at her.

She found that she had liked that look on him very much. She had almost protested when his hand had left her waist to push the strands of hair covering her eye behind her ear. Her eyes had grown heavy at the warm feel of his palm against the side of her neck and she had leaned into the touch.

It’s completely natural to want him, the voice had said. And the desire is mutual. Give in to temptation.

“Akihiko…” she had whispered, frowning as she tried to identify the voice echoing in her head. She was certain that it wasn’t Penthesliea.

“Shhh,” he had said, his fingers moving from the curve of her jaw to her top lip. She couldn’t help but stare when his eyes went from hers to her mouth, making her subconsciously lick at her bottom lip, her tongue flicking against his index finger.

After that, the room had spun again and she could only remember hazy recollections of hands and mouths and skin. She had arched beneath him, gasping for air, her eyes wide.

And when she caught sight of their reflections in the suspended mirror, the spell had shattered for her. Somewhere along the way, her shirt had been discarded and her skirt was pushed up past her waist. Akihiko was bracing himself with a forearm, his right hand guiding her knee over his hip, his fingers moving in distracting circles over her skin. “Wait,” she had said, blinking while she had watched, almost as if she were a third party observer, as her nails made red tracks over the muscles of his back. He had groaned against her throat, his weight shifting until he was moving against her. Even through two layers of clothing, she could feel just how pleased he was to be with her. The answering moan that spilled over her lips caught her unaware, if only for the fact that she had never heard herself utter anything that vulnerable before.

“This isn’t right,” she tried again, panting when she couldn’t stop her hips from moving with him. She had meant to push him away from her, but her hands grabbed onto his biceps and pulled him closer. “We need to…” She was certain that there was something that they needed to do, but between the hot slide of skin against skin and the insistent voice that was back, (this time moaning her name in synch with Akihiko) she hadn’t been quite able to put her finger on what it was.

The sharp pinch of Akihiko’s teeth along her collarbone shook her out of her daze for good. Finding some leverage, she rolled until both of them landed in a heap on the floor. Akihiko grunted when his head connected with the carpet and she winced when her knees took the brunt of the fall.

“What…Mitsuru?” They had landed so that Mitsuru was astride his lap, her knees on either side of his waist. She blushed and used one hand to hold up her bra, which had gotten unbuckled earlier and the only things keeping gravity from doing its job were the straps hanging loosely down her arms. “Where are we? What happened?” She had noticed that Akihiko was blinking to try and clear his mind, his hands still holding onto her hips. He had still been stroking her skin like he had earlier when he seemed to realize what he was doing, his hands leaving her body as if he had been burned.

Gathering whatever dignity she could muster, she had stood up on shaky legs before he could figure out how to scramble out from under her. “Somehow, another shadow managed to fog our minds,” she said coolly, bending to retrieve her blouse. She didn’t look at him on her way to the bathroom, part of her mind taking in the non-heart shaped tub while she hastily put her clothes back together. She had splashed some water on her face and smoothed her hair back into some semblance of order. Lights from the Dark Hour gave her reflection a greenish cast, but it couldn’t hide her swollen lips or red cheeks. She gave her reflection a final glare before walking out of the bathroom just as Akihiko was finishing tucking in his shirt.

“We have to find the others,” he said, his tone sounding as if he hadn’t spent the last couple of moments fumbling around half naked with her in a seedy motel.

“Yes.” She didn’t know if she could trust herself with anything more than that, so she reached out for the doorknob to let themselves out of the room. Unfortunately, Akihiko must have had the same idea, because his fingers wound up tangling around hers.

“Sorry,” he had told her, his eyes flicking momentarily to her face before quickly looking away. He had stepped back, giving her room to exit.

Mitsuru sighed. Picking up her comb again, she used clips to pin her hair up in a loose chignon. Still wearing just her towel, she picked out a singlet top and pajama bottoms to wear to bed. It was pointless to dwell on what had happened the other night, especially since Akihiko had been so keen to avoid her all day. Obviously, he had chose the ‘ignore it and it never happened’ approach to dealing with their compromising situation. Thankfully, Minato hadn’t questioned her, but she had still regretted her hasty ‘nothing happened’ explanation, especially now that Takeba and Yamagishi kept on giving her curious looks throughout the day. Miffed at being left out of the mission, Iori had only bemoaned the lost opportunity to explore the hotel. She rolled her eyes, remembering how he had not so quietly asked both Minato and Akihiko if there had really been condom machines lined against the wall like the soda dispensers in their dorm. Neither of them had answered him, and Akihiko had broken into a fit of coughing, his face turning almost as red as his vest.

Picking up her book bag, Mitsuru dug out her composition book. Exams were coming up soon, and even though she was confident that she would do well, it wouldn’t hurt to study. Besides, it would take her mind off of things, like the way that Akihiko had instinctively known which parts of her body to touch to make her melt, or…

“Enough,” she said out loud, putting her textbook on her desk a little harder than she had meant to. She had picked up her science book instead, but she sat down and deliberately turned to the lesson that her teacher had just finished going over. Before long, she was busy taking notes, writing vocabulary that she felt might be on the exam. She had realized a long time ago that in order for her to memorize important facts, she not only had to write them down, but she had to recite them as well. The technique had become such a habit that she found that she did it automatically without thinking.

“ – equals the amount of force placed on an object. An object placed in motion cannot be moved from attraction…” She paused and looked at her notes. That didn’t sound right. Neatly striking out the last sentence with her pen, she began again. “Objects placed in uniform motion tend to stay in motion unless an external force is applied to it. For every action, there is an equal and mutual attraction.” Had it been mutual, like the voice had said? Or had that just been part of the shadow’s ploy to distract her? What if what she was feeling was just the remnants of a hallucination? What if Akihiko hadn’t been interested? What if… She leaned back and scrutinized her paper before giving up and letting out a frustrated groan.

“This isn’t fair,” she muttered, giving into a bout of petulance. It wasn’t fair that she couldn’t get last night out of her head. It wasn’t fair that while she had admired him for the way that he carried himself and his determination that she now saw him as someone she’d like to be more than friends with. “Before you know it, I’m going to start following him around campus like those girls he can’t stand.” She closed her book with a snap and fluttered her eyelashes, pitching her voice higher than usual. “Oh Akihiko, you’re so cute! Why can’t you be more friendly? Won’t you walk me to class, Akihiko?” She frowned. “Give me a break.” Deciding that she wasn’t going to get any productive studying done that evening, Mitsuru gave up and turned down the sheets on her bed. Snapping off the bedside lamp, she stared up at the dark ceiling, willing sleep to take over.

Hopefully things would go back to normal, if there really was such a thing as normal for her. She really valued the friendship between herself and Akihiko and she’d be damned if she let some shadow’s tricks put a wedge between them. It was just that now she knew that his hair was just as soft as she had always imagined that it would be between her fingers and that the weight of his body over hers had been incredibly exciting. Now she knew how it felt to have her legs wrapped around his waist as if they had always meant to be there and that she could feel her pulse pound in places that she had never felt her pulse jump before.

“He tasted like chocolate,” she quietly said to the ceiling, throwing one of her arms over her eyes to block out the light of a passing vehicle from her window. “How in the world am I supposed to enjoy the one guilty pleasure I indulge in without thinking about him all the time now?” Rolling over, she buried her face in her pillow and kicked her legs free of the sheets. A full day later and she could still feel his hands on her breasts, for crying out loud. She flipped over again and slowly drew her hand down her neck and traced the neckline of her top. She let her eyes close and tried to conjure up the hot feel of breath against the shell of her ear and the firm press of hands under her thighs. Maybe if she could imagine how he had felt against her then she might be able to get over it and get her mind focused on more important things.

It didn’t work. Apparently, her imagination wasn’t a good substitute for reality. Kicking the sheets off the bed completely, she swung her legs off the mattress and flipped on the bedside lamp. Grabbing her robe, she impatiently tied it shut and left her room. The third floor hall was empty; the Dark Hour had already come and gone. Padding barefoot down the stairs, she paused. What exactly was she planning on doing? It wasn’t in her nature to be indecisive, but she couldn’t help but cross her arms in front of her and bite her lip. The second floor hall was as empty as the third, but where it had been silent upstairs, Mitsuru could hear a muted bass tone coming from behind Iori’s door. She slowly made her way down, stopping right before the very end of the hall. She couldn’t hear anything from Minato’s door, but there was the distinctive sound of a punching bag being put to use in Akihiko’s room that told her that at least one other person in the dorm was awake. She flinched at the louder than usual punch and the frustrated sounding Dammit! that accompanied it, her mind made up. Reaching out, she knocked on his door.

He answered her knock wearing a pair of low slung pajama bottoms and a white tank top. “Hey,” he said, sounding slightly out of breath. He gripped the door frame in one hand and Mitsuru saw that he had taped his fingers up for his evening workout.

“Hello.” Why was it that she could stare down any threat in the face and yet not bring herself to look him in the eye? Where had her courage gone? She suddenly wished that her hair had been down so that she could retreat to a safe distance behind it.

“I couldn’t sleep,” he told her, his grip on the door frame tightening. There was something in his voice, something that made her think that he was as unsure of where they stood now as she was. It was enough to let her finally look at him.

“I couldn’t either. May I come inside?” She watched as he seemed to weigh his options before stepping backwards, his head tilted in a gesture that told her it was okay to enter. She passed by him and couldn’t help but notice that the tops of his cheeks were a faint pink that didn’t have anything to do with his training. Maybe he was as conflicted as she was. Maybe those brief moments had meant something to him, just like they had meant something to her. Maybe…

She took a deep breath. The only way that she would find out which ‘maybe’ or ‘what if’ actually mattered was to face the situation head on.

And if there was anything that she was sure of, it was that she never backed down from anything.


Jan. 31st, 2009 11:15 pm (UTC)
The Answer is really hard, but that's not what's keeping me from it. D: I don't want to spoil you, because, I mean, yeah, spoilers suck. But it's just really hard to get through, for me, personally.

I can't really 'ship Yukari with anyone because, well, I think she's an awful bitch. And I really hate the way she treats Junpei. But, then, I reallllly like Junpei's character, so I think he deserves better than someone who is constantly putting him down and calling him names. D: I just don't like Yukari, not even a little. I sort of like the hints at the end of the game that look like they're leaning toward Junpei/Fuuka. I could be down for that! ;)

And yeah, I totally agree with all your ideas/thoughts on Mitsuru and Aki ... I think there's a lot there, and I'm looking forward to actually writing something for it!
Jan. 31st, 2009 11:31 pm (UTC)
Oh, I don't know, she's grown on me. I still think that she's an annoying bitch, but not so much this time around. I like the idea of Shinji/Fuuka though.

Eee, write some! You know we loves your fic!
Jan. 31st, 2009 11:34 pm (UTC)
LOL And that's so funny, because now that I'm replaying the game, I am hating Yukari even MORE. Just ... ugh. I guess she's just one of those characters that I can't enjoy. Oh, well, no big loss, really, since everyone else is amaaaazing. ;)

I could pretty much see Shinji with anyone, but I kinda like the idea that he harbors some secret crush on Mitsuru. But that he never says anything because a) he knows he's dying, and b) Aki is his best friend, and he knows how Aki feels about her. It's all very tragic. D:

I'd really just like to see Junpei with a nice girl. Not Chidori. I didn't like Chidori. :p But I am glad that she saved his life.
Jan. 31st, 2009 11:40 pm (UTC)
Chidori got on my nerves. I was glad that she saved his life, but I was all "Meh, whatever" when it came to her. I guess that their relationship wasn't all that believable to me, especially if he's supposed to love her as much as he does, then how come he spent most of his time flirting with/trying to hit on other girls while she was at the hospital?

There's a lot of Shinji + Aki stuff to explore. They knew the other from early on, and the game didn't really hint too terribly much on backstory, but Shinji ->Mitsuru would be kinda sad.
Jan. 31st, 2009 11:44 pm (UTC)
I never really bought that Junpei "loved" her or whatever. I mean, I think he cared about her a lot, and I think he WOULD have come around and been devoted to her, if she'd ever stopped being so heinous to him for five seconds. He was pretty loyal about going to her bedside and seeing her, so I can't really fault him there. I just think that they didn't really have enough time to get to that "love" thing. But it might've happened, you know, had things played out differently. I did like that her sketchbook was full of pictures of him, though. I thought that was sweet.

I'd love to explore the Shinji/Aki backstory. Obviously, it's pretty tragic and angsty, but, well, I think just about anything having to do with Shinji fits that category. Poor guy. Oh, and I effing haaaaaate Ken. It's all his fault, man! After the October full moon, Ken was permanently banned from going to Tartarus with me. :p Fuck him.
Jan. 31st, 2009 11:51 pm (UTC)
Same here on the Ken front. It was all "Sit your ass down, shut up and don't look at me or I'll send you with a team that's leveled up to 70+ while you're still in the 30s to the floors where a single hit pretty much wipes you out. And then I'll have them leave you there."

Yeah, kinda didn't like him. Could you tell?

The thing that I liked was that afterward, Junpei was a whole lot more focused, but still the same guy. I would like to see him with someone nice though.
Jan. 31st, 2009 11:53 pm (UTC)
LOL I'm so awesome, every time I see Ken in the lobby of the dorm now, I always say "Fuck you, Ken." Just, yeah, I have to do it. That kid needs to gtfo. I also didn't understand why everyone was so "OMG WORRIED!" about him after Shinji got shot. Because, not gonna lie, if I'd been there, I'd've been like "Fuck him, let him live on the streets, I am DONE with that little bastard." But I'm not very nice. I just do NOT like him, and I think he's pretty screwed in the head if he thought that committing MURDER was a good idea to avenge his mother. :p KEN YOU FAIL.

I like that everything that happened with Chidori caused Junpei to grow up a little. He started taking things more seriously, but he still kept his good humor, and I appreciate that character trait. :D
Jan. 31st, 2009 11:57 pm (UTC)
Exactly. Junpei was depressed for a bit, which was understandable, but then he bounced back and was the same guy, but with a little more maturity behind him.

And I wouldn't have gone out looking for Ken the way that Aki did either. That was his best friend that he got killed! Ken is epic fail, and not in a good way either.
Jan. 31st, 2009 11:59 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I was like, "WTF Aki? Let the little bastard live on his own." I mean, he obviously wasn't even PART OF THE TEAM because he wanted to HELP. The only reason he signed up was to get his revenge, so the whole situation is just really wonky to me. The kid probably needed to be in some kind of facility, seriously. And um, what was he doing for the two years before Ikutsuki found him, anyway? I mean, he was an orphan then, and he seemed to survive all right. I don't know, I think they should've just let him stay gone. Fucker.
Feb. 1st, 2009 12:03 am (UTC)
I think his story was that he was living with a distant relative and going to school (which shows how much pull the Kirijo Group has if they can house an elementary school student in with a bunch of high schoolers without constant adult supervision, because otherwise I personally would have thought that him moving was odd)

I KNOW! And Shinji wasn't even on the team yet! What was he gonna do?
Feb. 1st, 2009 12:05 am (UTC)
Yeah, well, I didn't pay much attention to Ken's story because ... well, we covered that already. DO NOT WANT. LOL

I have very little sympathy for Ken, knowing that his whole reason for deciding to join up and actually be an active member was just to learn enough so that he could take on and kill Shinji. Just ... no.

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